If I had 9 of my fingers missing, I wouldn't type any slower

(warning, birthing story, may be graphic to some.  read at your own risk)

It has taken me a little longer than forever, to get back on the horse.Just seems like last week I was blogging the announcement of Number 5.Even more so, just like yesterday Number 5 became a beautiful baby in my arms.But was it all that easy............Pregnancy was, pregnancy.  We were plugging away day to day wonderfully.  Started self injections of hormones at 16 weeks, just one a week, as a precaution resulting from history of premature labor.  Check up after check up everything looked amazing.  Some not so fun swelling crept up, it happens.  Although the swelling started to get pretty severe, the pain in my hands and wrists making simple tasks as opening doors almost knee buckling at times -everything was medically fine.  Keep your feet up, push fluids, watch salt (not as you eat it!)  Before I could blink we were down to weekly visits.  Walking around dilated to 4 cm, and the swelling full speed ahead (medically still appearing just fine, just swelling- it happens).  With a history of preterm labor the anticipation of "when when when" was looming every minute of every day.  But as a Mommy of 2 other children I had goals.  Christmas programs with school, family Christmas gatherings -all of which I would miss to keep our new bundle home safe from unnecessary exposure to the crazy flu bugs circling.  The goal dates were coming, and going.  We made it to Christmas eve, Christmas -not without slight misery with yours truly but we were all together.  One more date, a big one.  The entire side of my family was to be together December 29, this never happens.  My dad had jokingly said one day you can have that baby on the 30th, but you will be there the 29th, with everyone.  I had been trying so many things for even nominal relief.  Epsom baths.  Compression stockings -which only gave my thighs an ever attractive muffin top..... At this point, it was getting worse daily.  So much so it hurt.  My skin hurt.  I would sit, feet up, with no improvement.  The day came and went, hormonal and looking like the marshmallow man, I cried through it.  But we made it.  All of our goal dates we made it!!!As we sit down to watch a movie, it was of the opinion of most that I do at least call in and see what a doctor would say I do.  Maybe any more tricks for relief.  You see, we weren't going to tell anyone but we were scheduled for induction on January 3rd.  Here we were, December 29 and the on call nurse says we must get checked.  I am sure at this point I will be sent home once again, put your feet up -gee thank you for nothing.  Just some sort of relief.  I'm not in a hurry, but the pain was just getting pretty insane.  This time was different.  The blood pressure high, tests show signs of preeclampsia, you are staying -you can labor how ever much on your own through the night, pitocin in the morning at 7am.  We are having a baby!Sidebar|  fun fact -just 12 years and 6 months prior, my mom had taken me into the hospital in labor with my oldest son Andrew.  Saturday night, June 29th and June 30th I delivered my premie Andrew Kyle at 4lb 4oz!  Now here we were, another Saturday the 29th my mom had taken me to the hospital, and I would be delivering another baby on the 30th!  (Gender still unknown)No sleep, who could sleep.  5 am rolls  around and I order breakfast.  Breakfast and a shower was a must for me before we were about to throw down this labor thing.  The plan was to go natural (aside from the pitocin) I wanted no pain medicine.  The pitocin, kicked in FAST!  It was insane, remember before I was at least a 4cm dilated for a couple weeks... To epidural or not?  What if I can't make it?Hands down, without a doubt, I was meant to have the nurses I had this day!  I can never put in to words, never.  My actual nurse R, was like having family there.  The best kind, not the kind that sugar coats and helps you cave at weakness.  The kind that keeps you going, pushes you where you know you can go -then pushes you further!  Give me 10 more minutes, lets just see if we can get you further.  Before I knew it I was fully dilated, but pushing, was a fail.  I was failing at my one job.  This baby was so high up and not coming down.  You see Number 5 had missed the memo babies come out face down and was face up to meet the world head on upon exit!  (We) had to let me just contract/push and bring that baby down.We were up on hands and knees to keep the positions changing and get this baby to move.  I was what I felt, a wreck.  Even now, some memories of that day are foggy -by choice of my subconscious I do suspect......  But doctor comes in, heart rate is showing concerns and I need to get on my back, I was in a place I did NOT want to move from and I will never forget the very stern voice of the doctor telling me NOW, you have to move NOW.  Crying and screaming (I think on the inside and out) I finally get laid back down.  Having trouble monitoring the heart beat, no real shock most doctor appointments Number 5 made the nurses work for it!  The next thing I know they are putting a probe in on the baby's head to better monitor the heartbeat, nothing.  Probe is on, no heartbeat.  I'm still pushing every chance I get, trying to get this baby to move down.  The nurse moves fast (like she has all morning & yes it's still morning) grabs another probe.  Old one out.  New one in.  And heartbeat!  We have a heartbeat, first probe was bad.  Thank you, God, thank you!  Focus = here!  All the sudden it was time.  Baby is finally down low enough and we are going to make this happen.  Before I knew it, I hear there is a nurse up on a chair -anticipating there will need to be maneuvering to get this apparently big baby through the chute! Surprisingly that was the easy part and it seemed like forever but just a split second all the same I was looking down at a precious new baby and hearing the doctor say it's a boy!!  I was so excited, he was perfect and looking at him was breathtaking, I did it... WE did it!  Doctor says a big boy!!  I was never so thankful to grab onto this precious new life -and for waiting to know Number 5's gender AND for sticking it out no pain medicine!  I had done it, baby boy (name yet to be determined) weighing in at 8lb 15.2 oz and 21.25 in was born December 30 at 1pm !!As routine goes Number 5 was getting all cleaned up, my mom was taking some pictures and of course Brian was on the phone.  I felt great!  I just kept watching this precious boy, waiting to get him back in my arms.  I had done it!  Delivered naturally, with a few hiccups but it all still went amazing!  I was chatting it up with the doctor and nurses -we were waiting patiently on the placenta to deliver.  They kept saying it's ok, you basically have 30 minutes for the placenta to deliver.  30 minutes came, and went.  The doctor quickly went to manually remove the placenta, a slight tug revealed this was not going to be an easy task.  I had placenta accreta, the placenta had fingered itself deep within the uterine wall and was not going to come out without a fight.  (Insert reminder, I had not received any pain medicine).  At this time, the doctor reaches in (up to elbows I am told) and digging, and digging to get it out.  Pulling out piece by piece.  Worse turned to worse.  I remember thinking I am being scrapped out like a pumpkin, with fingernails.  I remember looking up at my mom and telling her I'm not ok.  I can still hear my own screams.  I can still feel myself pushing like I was trying to deliver that almost 9 lb baby again, only it was the doctors arm.  Bleeding out as if to lay the land for the perfect scene in a horror film.  Everything was fading, I was loosing too much blood and they needed to get this out.  Someone finally threw some pain medicine in, multiple avenues I believe.  It seems like a dream, it felt like a dream, seeing the ceiling lights move as my bed was rushed to surgery "Mrs Riley??? Mrs Riley??!!! Mrs Riley!!!" over and over.  Then my eyes open to my room, I was back.  But I had lost over half of my blood (we) were told.  And unsure if I was out of the woods yet.  The next few hours, ...            break, sorry, I can't take it.            If you don't think everyday is a good day, just try missing one.Finally!  My mom lays my baby boy back with me, I remember this moment clear.  Mom said he had been fussing the whole time I was gone (about an hour) and the second we were back together he quieted right down.  She said, he missed his mommy.  I was never so glad to see someone!  We still waited, we still waited and hoped Mommy would be ok!Soon my dad arrived with my older 2, Andrew and Clara.  I got to tell them myself, in person it's a boy!!!  I'm not even sure their reaction, I was still utterly out of it!  Clara was sick, she couldn't come lay with me, hold the baby -it was so sad those "right of passage" moments every family partakes in we were missing out on.  Here we had this perfect baby boy and yet we were being robbed of the most simple of celebratory 'rituals' like family pictures around mom and baby - brother and sister holding baby..... We had to keep her away.  It wasn't fair.  Being 6 years old, she understood, but was still incredibly sad.  But Andrew got to come sit with me, he got to hold his baby brother as he whispered hi Sam David.  I was still unsure, pretty sure, but wanted to hold off until morning.  When I had myself back, to decide what fit while looking into his amazing face! <3We are only in the beginning- of our 5 day stay at hotel St. Johns Hospital =|This, is abcs' memories!Sami